Systems vs. Skills

Oh.My.God. Can we stop talking about job candidate ability with systems and procedures already?

Yes, hi. I’m a fully functioning adult human being. I can learn computer stuff and businessney procedures. I can’t learn natural aptitude in leadership or human resources unless I try REALLY hard and who can be bothered? Continue reading Systems vs. Skills

On Manners

Between university and connections, I have not had to apply for a job in over ten years and I’ve noticed a few changes in that time. There seems to be a soul destroying consensus amongst hiring companies to not reply to either your initial application to acknowledge you or to reply in a timely fashion after an interview. Not only is this incredibly rude, disrespectful and a tacky power play, but it cheapens the entire process for those who work hard to craft an application. Continue reading On Manners

There’s No Skill Shortage, there’s a Good Employer Shortage

Ok, so the title’s not great but it really succinctly conveys pressing and contemporary issues on the job-hunt front.

I have a question for every person out there in business land with an open position and a perceived shortage of applicant skill.* If I have done that job before, why would I want to do it again? Continue reading There’s No Skill Shortage, there’s a Good Employer Shortage

Sample Cover Letter

From the endless job ad clichés to the unnerving first interviews and then to the throw-up first day, I think the worst part of any job application is the sycophantic cover letter that has to accompany it:

Dear nobody,

Thank you for not writing your name on the job ad, thereby forcing me to begin this letter by jamming myself straight into it instead of being able to lube it a bit first. Continue reading Sample Cover Letter

The Next Big Thing – Drinking Apparatus

If you’re old and lame like I am, unable to keep up with the doo-dads and whizz-bangs of today’s youth culture and can’t understand why anyone would listen to Ariana Grande by choice then please be upstanding for the first in a multi-part series to help you keep on top of all of these vital things so that you can communicate with your surly adolescent children and their haircuts. Join me in a round up of current cool shit, lame shit and other shit as we explore how far we can push a bad idea.

To accurately predict the next fad, I will input data from weekend brunch menus and hip hop lyrics into my state of the art supercomputer (my brain) and wait for it to fart out the next logical curiosity in:

The Next Big Thing Continue reading The Next Big Thing – Drinking Apparatus