Job Seeker’s Schadenfreude

There is but one point to this post – to make all your C.V. spelling mistakes seem completely normal and a part of life. Which they are. Like that time I spelled ‘peaked’ instead of ‘piqued’ on a cover letter for an sub-editing job… Continue reading Job Seeker’s Schadenfreude

The Curse of Occupational Oratory Overuse – or – Icky Corporate Phrases

“I’m not across that”

Do you understand what you’re saying when you say, “I’m not across that”? You’re saying, “I don’t know” except that you’re saying it like a turd. If Jeremy is “not across that” and Sally isn’t “across it” either, then Jeremy and Sally don’t know dick. There’s something about this phrase that is sanctimoniously satisfying to say, like the phrase ‘sanctimoniously satisfying to say’, and I think that’s why it’s caught on so much in corporations. Every time someone says to me, “I’m not across that” I just realise that not only do they know fuck all about what I’ve asked them, but they love the feel of their linguistic tongue formation – so I try to engage their tongue less by not talking to them again. Continue reading The Curse of Occupational Oratory Overuse – or – Icky Corporate Phrases

Dynamism II: The Return of Dynamism

I’m just kidding with the title – dynamism never left! It just hangs around job ads like a bum at the liquor store.

In my continuing and seemingly ongoing quest to root out job ad atrocities, and in particular the reprehensible and unendearing overuse of the word ‘dynamic‘, please read on for the latest and completely unscheduled installment of job ad abortions. Continue reading Dynamism II: The Return of Dynamism

Systems vs. Skills

Oh.My.God. Can we stop talking about job candidate ability with systems and procedures already?

Yes, hi. I’m a fully functioning adult human being. I can learn computer stuff and businessney procedures. I can’t learn natural aptitude in leadership or human resources unless I try REALLY hard and who can be bothered? Continue reading Systems vs. Skills

On Manners

Between university and connections, I have not had to apply for a job in over ten years and I’ve noticed a few changes in that time. There seems to be a soul destroying consensus amongst hiring companies to not reply to either your initial application to acknowledge you or to reply in a timely fashion after an interview. Not only is this incredibly rude, disrespectful and a tacky power play, but it cheapens the entire process for those who work hard to craft an application. Continue reading On Manners

There’s No Skill Shortage, there’s a Good Employer Shortage

Ok, so the title’s not great but it really succinctly conveys pressing and contemporary issues on the job-hunt front.

I have a question for every person out there in business land with an open position and a perceived shortage of applicant skill.* If I have done that job before, why would I want to do it again? Continue reading There’s No Skill Shortage, there’s a Good Employer Shortage